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Sad to hear Infantino’s plan for FIFA has sunk

Aug 1st, 2026
by Craig.
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You know, I’ve had nothing to do with FIFA … ever, in my whole life. Even when I played football in my teens, FIFA never even entered my consciousness.

But it sure has the last month.

Actually, I should stop for a moment and recall all the late-night black-and-white television I used to watch when I was a kid in Africa in the 1970s. I don’t know why, but the one channel we had back then (the government Rhodesian Broadcasting Corporation), that normally shut down at about 22:30 or 23:00, would carry on during the World Cup (I’m guessing) and play football games. I remember nothing from that time, just that I was mesmerised by football games. I have no idea how many hours I watched, but it really couldn’t have been many, because my parents wouldn’t have allowed it and my own body probably wouldn’t have allowed it either. And I only really remember it happening once, but it was so long ago that memory is probably unreliable.

Fast forward to 2026, and FIFA comes in and rapes our city, closing down businesses, closing down roads (and demanding police escorts accorded only to heads of states), disrupting community goings on, just so that they can host a few football matches. Of course, I had absolutely nothing to do with it. I refused to participate with all of the other lemmings, did not pay the exorbitant prices to get into any games, and didn’t even attend any free events, because I just refused to be sucked into all of the hype and inadvertently contribute to it. The only sideline advertiser I remember is a company with which I already do business, much to my chagrin.

But I became very aware of how greedy and controlling FIFA is. The president of FIFA is a bum-buddy of donald trump, having just given him a lump of gold in the most rigged ceremony in the history of man, because trump had not received the Nobel Peace Prize because he hadn’t deserved it … and he made known to anyone who would listen how unhappy he was about it. I mean, even your average self-aware five-year-old could tell how cringy that was, but even trump doesn’t have the mentality of a five-year-old. And so we all just rolled our eyes and silently agreed that it was what needed to be done to keep the noisome (in any sense of the word) child quiet. Except it wasn’t, because the noisome child became upset at a red card, and we all know how that went.

So I’m here today to editorialise very strongly in favour of the failure of Gianni Infantino’s fever dream to make his commercial greed even wider. Let’s just raise the ticket prices of World Cup tickets by ten times; we know that the great unwashed of the world will support us because what choice do they have? A competing FIFA?

We all know there is no competition, which is how all monopolists start.

FIFA in Vancouver

Jun 2nd, 2026
by Craig.
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As if I don’t have enough to complain about, FIFA‘s coming to Vancouver to fuck us all up. I’m really not as much against fun as I seem, but I’ve cancelled all reasons to go into Downtown Vancouver this summer. Family and friends know this. I left the country when the Olympics came to town in 2010. I did buy a pair of red mittens from some Olympic vendor before I left (The Bay?), but that’s about it. It’s the only souvenir I have.

On the other hand, unless you consider roadwork to be “excitement”, there is no excitement around here. World Cup? What World Cup? It’s wall-to-wall roadwork to double your travel time to anywhere. Events have had to be cancelled or moved city-wide if they conflict with FIFA. Anything that FIFA could mistake for competition is not allowed, so don’t even think of putting something up that might indicate you you’re excited, because the FIFA police will make you take it down.

And if you’re the BC Sports Hall of Fame, well, you have to move out of your premises because FIFA needs them as a media centre. How fucking ironic. If you’re a sports hall of fame, you have to shut down, move everything into storage lockers and forgo your revenue during the most sports intensive time of the year because of the almighty buck. There’s nothing you can do. Propose that FIFA do something with the Hall to promote sport in BC? Not a fucking chance. What’s in it for FIFA? Goodwill with the local Vancouver sports community? How much is that worth? Unless it’s a few million dollars to contribute to Gianni Infantino’s bottom line, no thanks. Just move into a storeroom for a couple of months, don’t complain, and keep your nose clean.

And then there are the admission tickets, the last thing you can blame on FIFA. They’re reasonable, right? Because after putting Vancouverites through everything they’ve put us through and fleecing our governments, at least the ticket prices are reasonable, right? That’s the point of living here, right?

Nope, not a chance. News stories show that they’re in the tens of thousands of dollars each. A year’s salary for your average person each! For that kind of money, I’d expect a lot more for ninety minutes, and you know what I mean. I get more out of watching a local football team; I get nothing from watching Alphonso Davies, Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo, not a damn thing. Unless you want to pay me for a year at the rate at which Gianni Infantino is paid? Then I’ll be able to afford a FIFA ticket, and to pay someone to drive me down there and park the car.

I have zero respect for the Olympics, FIFA and any other massive sporting body that just rides roughshod over the locations that they pick to milk dry of our tax-payer dollars. Zero. Nada. Nothing.