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Articles tagged with: jokes

Humour, IT »

[28 Aug 2017 | Comments Off on man page humour | 862 views]

Found this little nugget in the “find” man page recently:
A ‘%’ character followed by any other character is discarded, but the other character is printed (don’t rely on this, as further format characters may be introduced). A ‘%’ at the end of the format argument causes undefined behaviour since there is no following character. In some locales, it may hide your door keys, while in others it may remove the final page from the novel you are reading.
Reminds me of a T-shirt I have:

$> man woman
$> Segmentation fault (core dumped)

Humour »

[27 Nov 2010 | Comments Off on … like they do on the Discovery Channel | 903 views]

An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed to look after and house her neighbours’ dog whilst the neighbours went on their holidays. The only problem was that the spinster’s own dog was a bitch that was in heat, and the neighbour’s dog was a male. Nevertheless she had a large house and she was able to keep the two dogs apart.
As she lay in her bed drifting off to sleep one night, the spinster was suddenly woken by awful howling and moaning sounds from downstairs. She rushed down …

Aviation, Humour »

[15 Nov 2010 | Comments Off on A few flying jokes | 897 views]

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist, the parachute.
If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage helicopter fly-ins?
Death is just nature’s way of telling you to watch your airspeed.
Real planes use only a single stick to fly. This is why bulldozers and helicopters — in that order — need two.
There are only three things the copilot should ever say: 1. Nice landing, sir. 2. I’ll buy the first round. 3. I’ll take the fat one.
As a pilot only two bad …

Humour »

[15 Nov 2010 | Comments Off on Divorced Barbie | 883 views]
Divorced Barbie

One day a father is on his way home from work and he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a toy shop and asks the sales person, “How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?”
The salesperson answers, “Which one do you mean, sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95.”
The amazed father asks, …