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Everybody remember trump the loser

In the words of Jimmy Kimmel, “Shut up. Just shut up.”

There’s nobody to blame but yourself for the drubbing that the Republican Party took in Tuesday’s midterms. We were all sad when you did so well in 2024 — “triple whammy” as my gay, Irish, trump-loving ex-friend called it — and now it’s time for you to eat humble pie … which was predictable all along for anyone who’s ever read history.

Joining you two will also be my ex-friend in Texas, who I’m sure must be delighted to be living in a blue state again after leaving a blue state (Virginia) to be among like-minded MAGA morons in Texas. “Minded” being a “term of art”, because there are no actual minds involved in the term “MAGA”.

Anyway, we who predicted your inevitable fall have been gloating for the last two days, secure in the knowledge that when the pendulum swings the other way, which it inevitably will, you’ll be nowhere in sight, unless we happen to be doing a tour of famous and stupid peoples’ graves.

And for you who loves the stock market — did you notice that it jumped when you got beaten? And for some reason even the price of oil fell below US$100 a barrel! It’s as if the inanimate stock market even wanted you to feel the pain even more.

Yeah, you’ve got the power of the veto, but only someone as stupid and short-sighted as you could use that, and you will gum up the moronic American political system for the last two years of your LAME DONALD DUCK presidency, showing just how much you don’t care for the American people.

Such delicious irony. We’re looking forward to whatever trick you next pull out of your bag. Surprisingly we haven’t yet heard you say anything about a third term, but that will just be another in your long list of unconstitutional actions. We’re expecting the wounded animal to act like a wounded animal; we’re ready.

The reason we need to remember him is the same reason we need to remember any other fascist in history. That’s why you’re supposed to read and understand history before you run for office, so you don’t make the same mistakes that your predecessors have already made in the past. It’s why we teach history in schools.

As for my two ex-friends — who are “ex” of their own volition — you know who you are and I hope to welcome you back.

You’re fucking up the world, trump

That little war that you, the peacemaker, started eight months ago that has become a quagmire that no American president before you was smart enough to start, has really started to wreck the world’s economy. But putin, who knows how to play the long game much more than you, has bided his time, and now his little investment in a few million lives to start his non-war war, have paid off, because the weak men of the world are falling.

The weak men of the world include anyone who doesn’t have the balls to stand behind their sanctions against Russia. This, obviously, includes you.

Ukraine isn’t the country in need of a new president; those countries are the United States and Russia. Henry Kissinger must be spinning in his grave. Why? Because he can’t possibly imagine an American president, especially one who falsely claims to have such a high IQ, who can be so fucking stupid. It’s so obvious that you literally spoke to putin only a few minutes before you came out to the press and told them that Ukraine needed a new president … and that, by the way, you had made a deal with Russia to prop up the capitalist system with their communist diesel fuel. You’re so high IQ that you came right out and admitted that you’re such a loser, you need to be propped up as you head into elections that were scheduled years ago.

And even if you do succeed in lowering the American price of diesel, it won’t be by much, and it won’t be in time to make a difference in your mid-term elections. You’ll go down in history as the most greedy and desperate president in the history of your country to enter the mid-term elections.

Volodymyr Zelenskyy will be justified in laughing at you and telling you that he holds all the cards, and that you should crawl back into the hole you had the temerity to exit.

While you were on the phone to putin, did he mention that the only reason he has not flattened Ukraine is because Ukrainian troops have fought so hard against him, with brains and brawn? And that if the United States supported their allies (Ukraine) against the Russians, as the world has come to expect over the last eighty years, Ukraine would win the defence of their country next week? Seriously, you instructed Zelenskyy to stop attacking Russia’s oil refineries as if you actually had any authority over him, and then you were surprised that he actually had operational reasons to ignore you and carry on business (war) as usual. You won’t even support him, so why should he listen to you? He has actual people and governments doing all they can to support him, while you’re too busy literally blowing your load (and your ammunition) in the Middle East in a war going nowhere. Give your head a shake.

You’re only useful for your Patriot missiles at this point and, as I just said, you’re busy overspending your supply of those in your little adventure with Iran, so you’re essentially useless and that is why Zelenskyy is ignoring you. So you, America, are trying to let an anti-communist state fall to your sworn communist enemy all because your sworn enemy has managed to maintain diesel, and you now need it to attempt to win your mid-term elections.

Oh the tangled webs we weave when we try to “neutralise” an evil regime with a “quick” war that no other president was high IQ enough to start. You’re not high IQ enough to be running your country, donald trump. You should leave it to the big boys in your swamp who kind of know what they’re doing, not the least of which is knowing the difference between a friend and an enemy.

We’ve all be bombed back to the Stone Ages by trump

I had given up on giving donald trump free air time. You just can’t keep up with all of his outrages. One minute he’s killing American citizens who disagree with him, exercising their Second Amendment right to “keep and bear Arms”, and the next minute he’s telling the Iranians that they had better behave, according to his un-stated rules, and not execute their citizens. (Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!) Of course we all know now what his implied threat was, as his gunboats steamed towards the Iranian coast. But he was all 100% bluster, because he already knew that he was going to take action against Iran, but he only had enough balls to bomb them; the lily-livered American government doesn’t have the cajones to put boots on the ground, and really put their money where their mouths are.

And so today the Iranian citizens — the blameless men, women and children in the street — are all worse off, getting “bombed back to the Stone Ages”, while trump boasts that he has effected “regime change” because he (and the Israelis) has killed some of their leaders, while the regime — “the organisation that is the governing authority of a political unit” — is still well in place keeping the populace down.

First of all, let me state that, of all the people I don’t want in possession of nuclear weapons, it’s an autocratic, theocratic (of any religion!) regime, so good on you donald trump for finally doing something about it. But for the last 47 years, people have been doing something about it! Just because you have a different idea of what should be done, doesn’t mean your idea is better. As could have been expected and probably was expected by people who have been closer to and more involved in this situation than you have been over the last half century, America is back in a completely foreseeable position, and the Iranians don’t really care. They spent a decade at war with Iraq and know what it means to have their entire society neck-deep in war. Been there, done that. You, on the other hand, haven’t been neck-deep in war for 80 years (you were born after World War II), and even then you (America) showed up late after the Europeans had been doing all the heavy lifting for a few years. That’s why some of us can’t believe you’re complaining about Europe not wanting anything to do with your war/tantrum after only a couple of months, when you didn’t even have the courtesy to consult them or your Middle-East allies.

But trump can’t think past five minutes from now. He goes on about the fact that he’s “the first American president” to put his money (although he doesn’t have any) where his mouth is and actually do something, by pulling out his guns and sending the boys and girls (barely adults) of the American military as cannon fodder to their deaths. Except, that’s not quite true because, as I said, the lily livers in the American government (foremost among them tough-talking Pete Hegseth) didn’t send anyone into the fray of battle, as they eventually did in World Wars I and II; they just sent a few airmen in their air-conditioned cockpits to press a few switches to drop a few bombs. Granted, he’s been successful so far, with “only” 15 American combatants killed, and 538 wounded. Congratulations! There’s “only” 15 lives been lost; I’m sure those families don’t mind you killing their loved ones, not to mention the thousands you’ve killed in Iran, Lebanon and elsewhere.

This little “excursion” — which sounds a lot like putin’s “special military operation” — has been going on since February, over two months now. I go back again to my statement that trump can’t think five minutes into the future (he has the attention span of a gnat); the consideration that he can’t think five minutes ahead, never mind two months, might be why no American president has ever decided to use military force on Iran! Imagine that! Here we are, two months in, and we’re two months into one of America’s notorious quagmires (after he swore off foreign wars), and donald trump has, effectively, bombed all of us back from the Space Age to the Stone Age. Although I’ve been thinking about this post since at least January — to use myself as an example of being affected by trump’s short-sightedness, despite the fact that I am nowhere near Iran and not (thankfully) an American citizen — I was just forced to cancel a short trip to Ireland for a school reunion. I’m pretty bummed about it, because they only happen once a decade, but I don’t want to be stuck in Ireland for an indefinite period of time, which has a chance of happening if you take as long to resolve the Iran war as your country took to skedaddle from Afghanistan. (That’d be two decades, for those of you who had forgotten.)

There’s so much to cover here, but I’ll try and summarise to some extent, in sort of chronological order:

  1. NATO: It’s so obvious to all of us that attended history classes, that you were out back smoking with the boys while you were supposed to be in class with us. NATO is a ***DEFENSIVE*** alliance; they are not there to do your bidding whenever you feel like attacking someone you don’t like! There is no obligation on the part of any NATO member to join in on one of your unilateral American operations (which the Iranians have called “adventurism”), especially when you haven’t even had the courtesy to talk to them about it in advance! They didn’t “fail” your dumbass test! They didn’t even know about your test any more than someone watching the news already did! Claiming after the fact that it was a test that they failed miserably is the most asinine and juvenile statement ever made by a so-called “world leader”.
  2. Also for those of us who have at least perused a few of the pages (and even pictures) is history books can see the startling similarity between the Communist “Red Scare” (led by the American Joseph McCarthy) and today’s Islamophobia (led by donald trump), the “least racist person in the world”. There is not an Islamist behind every tree or under every bed.
  3. Enough with the “card” analogies. Yes, you can hold as many Uno cards as you want; nobody wants to play with you.
  4. We’re not impressed with how many agreements you tore up to get yourself into a worse situation than you were in before you started bombing Iran. I mean, really, that statement tells us more than anything. A couple of months ago the Strait of Hormuz was open, and now it is closed, and you have no workable plan to reverse that situation … because, as I said before, you can’t think five minutes ahead.

The only good I can see coming from this situation is that all the poor people in America, that you allegedly love so much, are not going to be happy with $6-a-gallon gas when it comes time to vote in your midterm elections.