Female to English
What she says: == What she really means:
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We need == I want!

It's your decision == The correct decision should be obvious by now!

Do what you want == You'll pay for this later!

We need to talk == I need to complain!

Sure... go ahead == I don't want you to do that.

You're so ... manly == You need a shave and you smell of sweat.

I'm not upset == Of course I'm upset, you moron.

The gas tank is empty == Go fill it up.

The trash is full == Take it out

I want new curtains == and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper ...

I need wedding shoes == the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

I heard a noise == I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? == I'm going to ask for something expensive.

Nothing is wrong. == Everything is wrong.

Am I fat? == Tell me I'm beautiful.

Are you listening!? == Too late, you're dead.

Are you cold? == Get out of bed and close the window!

I'm NOT angry == I'm pissed!

The dog is barking == Go outside in the rain in your underwear and see what is wrong.

You're certainly attentive tonight. == Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional and I'm not overreacting! == I'm having my period.

Be romantic and turn out the lights. == I have fat thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient == I want a new house.

How much do you love me? == I did something today you're really not going to like.

I don't want to talk about it. == Go away, I'm still building up steam.

I'll be ready in a minute. == Take off your shoes and find a good football game on T.V.

You have to learn to communicate. == Just agree with me.

What do you think of my new hair style? == Say it's beautiful - if you value your life.

Tell me the truth about my new dress. == Lie through your teeth.

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