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November 27th, 2010:

… like they do on the Discovery Channel

An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed to look after and house her neighbours’ dog whilst the neighbours went on their holidays. The only problem was that the spinster’s own dog was a bitch that was in heat, and the neighbour’s dog was a male. Nevertheless she had a large house and she was able to keep the two dogs apart.

As she lay in her bed drifting off to sleep one night, the spinster was suddenly woken by awful howling and moaning sounds from downstairs. She rushed down to find the dogs locked together, as dogs do when mating. The dogs appeared to be in pain, howling but unable to disengage. Try as she might she could not part them and she was perplexed as what to do next. Though it was late she reluctantly phoned the vet, and after a few rings the rather grumpy voice of the vet answered the phone. The spinster explained the problem.

The vet said, “I want you to take the phone to the dogs and place it down alongside them. I will then phone your number back and the noise of the telephone ringing should make the male dog lose his erection and able to withdraw from the bitch.”

“Oh. Do you think that will work?”

“Well, it just worked fine for me.”